Wednesday, March 29, 2006

fed up and im tired

kinda feel stupid today. blogger died on me just now. fuck. wrote some things that i think i wont remember again.

didnt have the motivation to do my homeworks. im stealing time everyday. using it to do some other things. like relaxing myself. i think if i continued without relaxing, i will die on my way to school and noone will know - this was not in my blog when i first typed it. fuck blogger and broadband once more. feelinf fucked up, screwed up and fed up. sorry, i really couldnt find another word that so accurately describes how i feel like what i used.

mr rafi wanted to play classical music during maths lesson time. he ask if it was true that it could help us learn better. and of course we said yes. wahah

still having that irritating headache. so painful, caused me not to function and caused me to destroy. luckily my sis havent came back, or else she will be my target. seriously, trying so hard to control my fucking temper and was doing a good job until today. but today its like telling me that it will explode on my face.

feeling frustrated. mr imran said i need to redo my folio's ideas again. said my drawing wasnt technical drawing but artistic drawing. didnt know if that was a compliment or not. so just smiled. i dont know, somehow the idea of me redoing my folio again and again doesnt really feel very appealing to me. it slowly repelled me away. and if mr benny or mr imran should stumble unto this blog of mine, i think they will slap me on my face. and i really personally think that i deserve to be slapped. WOAMYGOD wont you just like let me die?

feeling pressured. think its because of my O this year and the teachers that keep emphasizing how important it is to pass and get to poly made it even worst. huhz. this is my life. think i will work doubly hard during the time when im waiting for my results. first - save up for rainy days in case i fail to get through and at least i have financial support. or second - save up for things that i have always wanted to buy since ages and indulge myself crazy. xp hope its the second. who would choose the first?

helio said my display picture in msn dont look like me. oh well, thats someone else then. and hakim said bye to me when i was walking pass him going home. so sweet. im going to add merit to him. for being nice to his seniors. lol. according to halif, the merit system is up and im not pretty sure as ive not been in the prefects room for since ages. vivien told me that mr sundrum's bbq party was once again postponed. what a joke.

i really can punch someone on the face right now. its like so satisfying. and nice.

if blogger died on me again i will curse it. and say fuck again.
sign off [eve] dutzt

--i can only faintly smile--
--no more strength to laugh it out--
--my laughters they turn to smiles--
--my words they turn to silent whispers--
--and my frustrations--
--they miracly turn to tears--
--somehow it doesnt--
--quite surprise me that much anymore--
--and you--
--i dont know--
--i can feel nothing--
--and nothing is all i feel--
--or maybe the only thing--
--i can feel--
--is the ache that still--
--lingers in my heart--
--coz even though im here--
--im far away--
--coz im lying in the open field--
--where im away--
--from hurts and fears--
--and pains and tears--
--where im safe--
--just being me--
--alone and alone--
--a place where noone sees me cry--

3/29/2006 07:36:00 PM | you shattered me

marjorie
olivia aka fifi
angie
halif
cherlyn
nadiah
syara
tasha
ivy
verena
walph

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Credits

Creatyves

- - - - p r o f i l e - - - -
the name
-evelyn ng

the age
-im officially 16 baybeh wootz~

the school
-nursery
-PAP
-elias park
-coral sec

the likes
-myself
-my family
-mocha, milk teas
-popcorn
-sketches of nice pictures
-all my friends
-things that i own
-watching tv
-alot of other stuff
-animals
-playing yang qin[chinese instrument if ya duno]
-being crazy
-being alone sometimes
-hugs and kisses
-cosmetics [its just recently - xp] -power
-laughs and humours

the dislikes
-being judged secretly
-people who betrays
-childish people
-bitches and sluts
-giggly girly girls [woamygod - never can stand them!]
-dramatics
-act cutes
-lians and bengs
-liars
-people who think that they know-it-all
-attention seekers
-loud speakers
-wishy washys
-pretenders

the goals
-to be somebody

the counter

- - - - s i t e s - - - -
[#01] blogger
[#02] blogskins
[#03] getty images
[#04]photobuck

[#05]shockwave
[#06]muppets
[#07]sudoku

- - e n d - -